Mello's Peace

   Mello leaned against the railing outside the apartment. It was probably the best feature the place had. A tiny porch jutted out from the bedroom and presented a fair view of the city over the top of the building adjacent to theirs. He liked being able to see the sun set on days when he was too tired to do anything more than crash into bed. On days like those, he felt himself close to peace. It must have had something to do with the colors. They were…soothing to him. Yet, they just couldn't bring about the lasting peace that he needed. The peace he was close to feeling now.

   He watched the distant lights of the city. There was something about living in New York that just made all the craziness worth it. Yeah, the rent sucked and the tourists were annoying as hell but the night lights were definitely something to appreciate. The night air whirled around him. Mello breathed in deeply, enjoying the feel of crisp air hitting his lungs. The temperature had steadily dropped but snow had only been seen on his birthday. Somehow, that just made him feel better.

   Chill air slipped around his bare arms. It was as if winter were trying to wrap him in an embrace. Mello always enjoyed this time of year. The coldness brought out a sharp quality in him. He felt more alert amongst all the cheerful bullshit. And it was at those times when Mello felt nearly invincible. He smiled bitterly. That line of thinking had almost gotten him killed on more than one occasion. He touched the edge of his scar around his side. It was a miracle he was still breathing.

   Tiny flakes interrupted his musings. Another snow had begun to fall gently around him. This time, a genuine smile lit his face. He closed his eyes, head leaning back. This was what he loved most. Snow was such a contradiction; it was beautiful and harsh all at once. It could give the most memorable scenes in the traditional and unfortunately, the morbid sense. He breathed in deeply, feeling the cold air clench around his chest this time. It was enough to make him feel alive.

   Mello lowered his head and twisted his body slightly. Moonlight trickled in around him, giving a soft glow to the sheets on his bed. And to the boy wrapped in them. Matt. Being with him was enough to make him feel alive too.

   He breathed evenly, watching the sleeping figure in his bed. A sheet lay tangled around Matt leaving his torso exposed to the night's chill. His face was turned toward the window. Toward Mello. Red hair fanned out around his face making him look younger than he actually was. The sight was pleasing to Mello. It satisfied him on so many levels that he could truly believe why it took his breath away. Matt lay there oblivious to the world, completely trusting that he was safe in his dreams because Mello was near him.

   Mello pushed off the railing and moved into the bedroom. He silently slid the window shut. Warmth chased away the night air. It caressed his body making him realize just how cold his skin had become. The sensation was second rate compared to what he was feeling simply by looking at Matt. He couldn't take his eyes away from the figure. So many things were clambering around his mind, things he had never acknowledged before.

Matt was here. With him! He was lying in Mello's bed. He was warm. He was whole. He was safe. Matt was with Mello. It was the accumulation of all those things that had Mello's heart swelling. Because of this person choosing to say with him, Mello could now feel better. He could heal. Life could become perfect in ways it never would for anyone else. Because he had won. He had someone who trusted him completely. Near was alone and Mello... Mello had Matt.

   He gently sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb Matt's sleep. He watched his best friend as he dreamed. It was the most peaceful he had ever felt. Mello reached forward and touched the tip of his finger to Matt's cheek. It was warm and smooth and perfect. Mello gazed at the sleeping boy. He began to feel something he thought he never would: whole. He slid his finger against Matt's skin.

   "You were right," Mello whispered. "You were the peace I needed."